From obsession to awakening—Do you really understand love?
"If you see me with your eyes, or seek me with your voice, you are following the wrong path and cannot see the Tathagata."——Diamond Sutra
What this sentence means is: If a person only pursues "love" from external conditions, then he will never truly understand its essence.
People in the world always mistakenly believe that they are in "love", but when they reflect deeply, they will find that their love is full of conditions, exchanges, control, dependence, and even fear.
We are used to measuring feelings by interests and judging relationships by gains and losses.Between husband and wife, look at each other’s economic strength; between friends, look at each other’s resource value; between parents and children, look at who better meets the other’s expectations.
But if love must rely on conditions to exist, then it is not true love, but a transaction packaged by desire.
The Buddhists say:All things are impermanent, arising and ceasing due to causes, all are illusions.”
If love in this world is attached to form, it will inevitably suffer from the change of form. If love is attached to gain and loss, it will be disturbed by gain and loss.
So, how can we awaken from this "false love" and find true love?
How can we transcend desire and experience true freedom?
1. The truth about love: People with 99% all live in an exchange relationship
(1) Marriage: Love or Business?
Many people think that marriage means "living together till old age", but the reality is,Marriage is often just a contract for mutual benefit..
- Women marry rich men in exchange for a good life.
- Men marry young and beautiful women for visual and sexual enjoyment.
- Some people get married in order to gain better social status and connections.
- Some people get married because they are old and are afraid of being lonely or being laughed at by the world, so they find someone to live with.
When a man goes bankrupt, is a woman still willing to endure hardships with him?
When a woman gets old, will a man still be willing to stay with her?
If the answer is no, then this marriage is not based on love at all, but on business cooperation.
The Buddhists say:The world is impermanent, and gathering and separation are uncertain."-If marriage is just a transaction, it will eventually expire.
(2) Friendship: Is it true love or an exchange of resources?
Many people think that friends are "sincere companions", but the truth is,Most friends are together because they are valuable to each other.
- He will only be willing to be friends with you if you have connections.
- He is only willing to curry favor with you if you have money.
- He will only become close to you if you can bring him into a higher social circle.
- He will only be willing to continue contacting you if you can also provide emotional value.
But if one day, you go bankrupt and you are no longer of any "use value", will these friends still stay with you?
When you are in glory, you have countless friends; when you are in despair, no one cares about you. This is the reality.
Buddha once said: "Love is painful, meeting with those we hate is painful, and not getting what we want is painful."
We are obsessed with friendships, but many friendships are nothing more than mutually beneficial relationships. Once the benefits are gone, they become strangers.
(3) Family ties: Is blood thicker than water, or is it a conditional exchange?
Even the most deified "family affection" is actually full of conditions and control.
- Parents love their children, but the prerequisite is that "the children must be obedient, excellent and motivated."
- Children should be filial to their parents, but the prerequisite is that "parents should be good to themselves, not favor boys over girls, and not be selfish."
- Parents ask their children to repay their kindness in raising them, but they never consider that the children never chose to come into this world.
How many parents keep saying "I have given so much for you", but in fact, they justImposing your own expectations on your children.
How many children are forced to live a life of "face-saving" for their parents, but what they really want is freedom.
The Buddhists say:Live with the flow and have no worries."——True family love should not be a bondage, nor an exchange, but rather unconditional acceptance.
2. Why is our love always painful?
The reason why people suffer from love is becauseTheir love is not "love", but obsession.
- "I'm afraid of losing you." → It means you are not in love, but in dependence.
- "Why can't you be nicer to me?" → It means you are not loving, but demanding.
- "You have to give to me, or you don't love me." → It means you are not loving, but controlling.
If a love makes you anxious, afraid, and angry, then it is not true love;desireis causing trouble.
The Buddhists say:There is no self, no person, no living being, and no life."——When you let go of "what I want" and "what I must get", you can truly experienceWhat is Love.
3. How to awaken and find true love?
(1) Let go of the trading mentality and stop measuring gains and losses
Love is not "I treat him well because he treats me well";
Love is not "I am willing to give only if he deserves it";
Love is not “I am willing to accompany him only because he is valuable.”
If your love is conditional, you will eventually suffer.Once the conditions disappear, love will also collapse.
True love means "I am willing to love him no matter what he is like."
True love means "No matter what the future holds, I am willing to cherish the present."
True love is “not asking for anything in return, not caring about gains and losses”.
(2) Go beyond obsession and truly let love be free
- If you are afraid of losing, it means that you regard the other person as your property.
- If you care about rewards, it means you just hope that "love can bring benefits."
- If you cannot accept change, it means you just hope that "love will always meet your expectations."
Unfortunately,Love is not eternal, love is also impermanent.
The Buddhists say:All things are impermanent, arising, perishing, and changing."——Everything changes, love too.
Ending: Only by awakening can you have true love
"There is no self, no person, no living being, no life."——Diamond Sutra
People are happy because of "gain" and suffer because of "loss", but the truly awakened people know that "gain is my luck, loss is my fate". They are not complacent because of what they have, nor are they sad because of loss.
The Buddha once said:All conditioned phenomena are like dreams, illusions, bubbles, and shadows. They are like dew and lightning. You should view them in this way.”——Diamond Sutra
Love in this world is like a dream. If we cling to it, we will be deeply trapped in it and unable to extricate ourselves.Only by seeing through the vanity of love and transcending the possession of love can we experience true love..
May you find true awakening in the love and pain of this world.From obsessive false love to selfless true love.
If this article touches you, it means that your heart has felt this energy.
You are not alone. There are more and more people in the world who, like you, are eager to awaken and create new possibilities.
💡 Now is your chance to be part of this act of love!
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