人的关系本质变成价值交换，意味着没有爱

Do you really understand "love"?

If you ask people around you, "What is love?" you may hear many different answers: some say love is passion, some say love is companionship, some say love is responsibility... But if we observe carefully, what most people call "love" often carries the shadow of some kind of exchange of interests.

In modern society, relationships between people are increasingly dominated by "value". Love has become a match between material and conditions, friendship has become a network of mutual exploitation, and even family affection has become an expectation of "return". When the basis of a relationship is exchange, it will eventually become like a commodity transaction - it will be discarded after use and will end when it loses its value.

But is this what true love is? Is love really just a transaction?

scenic view of lake in forest — Love is not a business relationship Pexels.com

The relationship of value exchange is consumable

"What can you bring to me? What is your family background? Can your resources help me?" Such questions have become the basic considerations for many people to establish relationships. In romantic relationships, women want men to bring material security, and men want women to meet their needs. In friendships, people tend to make friends who are beneficial to themselves, rather than selflessly love someone who has no value output. In the family, even family affection has become utilitarian - parents expect their children to succeed and give back in return.

But what does this relationship based on value exchange entail?

It leads to the consumption and eventual breakdown of the relationship. When a person can no longer provide "value", he will be abandoned, just like a commodity that has passed its expiration date. True love is not measured based on "whether it can bring benefits".

black mountains under the stars at nighttime — Value exchange without love Pexels.com

Relationships of interest cannot breed true love

There is a saying in Buddhism: "All things are impermanent, they are subject to birth and death; when birth and death are extinguished, nirvana is bliss." (Nirvana Sutra)

If the relationship between people is based only on interests, then it will eventually fall apart. Because interests are fluid, when the interests of one party decrease or even disappear, the relationship will also fall apart. Such a relationship is like a transaction. Once one party cannot meet the needs of the other party, it will be ruthlessly abandoned.

Many seemingly sweet couples end up torturing each other. What they once thought of as love was just habitual companionship and a sense of stability brought by relying on each other, not true love. When the maintenance of a relationship depends entirely on interests, such a relationship will only make people suffer in the end.

True love is not obtained from interests, but is born from inner creativity. It will not disappear due to changes in external conditions, but will flow continuously from each other's hearts.

photo of body of water — True love is like a living spring Pexels.com

True love is creative and its energy is endless

True love is not consuming, but creative. It is like a stream of living water, which can give continuously and nourish each other without asking for anything in return, and will not dry up due to a short-term loss or loss of benefits. Love is the most powerful creativity in life, which can make the relationship between people endless, rather than staying at a simple equal exchange.

When a person truly loves, he does not think about "what can I get from you", but "what can I create for you". True love will not dry up, because it is not based on consumption and taking, but on continuous creation and giving.

blue and white boat on body of water — True love is creative Pexels.com

Human desires cannot be satisfied

"Great compassion without cause, great compassion for all beings." (Lotus Sutra)

Human desires are endless, which is one of the reasons why relationships based on interests cannot last. If a person takes "having money" as the only standard of happiness, then he will never be happy. Because the standard of measuring money is constantly changing, he will always see people who are richer than himself, and there will always be higher goals to pursue.

This way of constantly looking for satisfaction outside will only make people fall into endless anxiety and competition, rather than gaining true happiness. The same is true for love. If a person's feelings are completely based on the value provided by the other party, then he will never be satisfied, because there will always be a better choice.

photo of mountain during dawn — Human desires are infinite Pexels.com

How to find true love?

So, how do we find true love in this transactional society?

Let go of the exchange mindset True love does not care about gains and losses. It is not based on "what you can give me", but gives from the heart.
Cultivate creative love It's not about getting something from the other person, but about creating a real emotional connection. Be willing to give for love, not just take.
Go beyond the constraints of interests Do not use money, status, or resources as the criteria for judging a relationship, but instead focus on each other's inner resonance.
Accept that love is rare, but love anyway In the real world, most relationships are indeed based on interests, but this does not mean that true love does not exist. Even if the world is full of transactions and exploitation, you can still choose to be a person who creates love.

river surrounded by green trees — Discover true love Pexels.com

Conclusion: True love is infinite, not limited exchange

If the relationship between people is just an exchange of value, then there is no real emotional connection between people, only consumption, exploitation and eventual rupture. However, true love is not for the purpose of exchange, but is creative and giving.

"All dharmas arise from causes and conditions, and all dharmas cease from causes and conditions." (The Great Prajna Sutra)

Everything is born and destroyed by fate, but only true love can transcend all of this and last forever.

This world may be utilitarian and realistic, but true love still exists. It exists in giving without asking for anything in return, in unconditional companionship, and in those who are willing to transcend transactional thinking to create beauty. I hope you will no longer be confined to the cage of value exchange, but experience the true freedom and endless love.