——A tailor-made guide to recovery for those who have been deeply hurt
Part 1: What is “emotional PTSD”?
Relationship-based PTSD
It means a person is experiencing Long-term emotional manipulation, emotional abuse, hot and cold, betrayal, deep hurt back,
What's leftA state of “overactivation” of the mental-emotional-physical response system.
01｜This is not "sadness from breaking up", but "injury to the emotional system"
You are not fragile, sensitive, or overthinking.
You just:
In a relationship that consumes you deeply,
yourThe emotional nervous system is overused, stretched, and manipulated, resulting in the brain being "stuck in the battlefield" even after the relationship ends.
Part 2: 10 Identifiable Symptoms of Affective PTSD
If you have more than 3 of the following symptoms, you may be in a mild to moderate PTSD state:
| Symptoms | Specific experience |
|---|---|
| 1. Flashback | When you see a certain sentence or hear a certain tone, you instantly recall the harsh or gentle words he said to you. |
| 2. Sleep disorders | Frequent dreams, waking up suddenly, even dreaming about returning to the relationship, sweating with fear |
| 3. Emotional shock | When someone suddenly becomes silent or hot-and-cold, you instinctively fear that you will “lose control again” |
| 4. Self-doubt | Even when he’s clearly wrong, you can’t help but wonder “Did I do something wrong?” |
| 5. Emotional complicity | He hurt you, but you explained for him: "He is also a victim" |
| 6. Self-denial | I often wonder, "Am I not worthy of being loved?" or "Am I too sensitive?" |
| 7. Physical symptoms | Relationship-related conversations give you tightness in your chest, shallow breathing, headaches, and stomach cramps |
| 8. Addiction to the past | I will repeatedly look through my chat history/social media pages, missing the words "I love you" he once said. |
| 9. Hidden withdrawal | Although they are sober, they lack confidence in new relationships and are even afraid of intimacy. |
| 10. Emotional numbness | I've left, but I can't really be happy. I always feel empty and powerless. |
Part 3: Healing Trilogy · Emotional Neurorepair Program
Step 1: Free yourself from self-denial
The first thing you need to do is not to "analyze whether he is a bad person".
Say to yourself every day:
“I’m not too sensitive.
I've been around the wrong people for too long.
That’s why we become so cautious, vulnerable, and lose trust.”
【practise】:
Write down the three most hurtful things he has ever said to you.
Then write your **“Alternative Truth”** below each sentence.
For example:
“You’re so difficult.” → Alternative sentence: “I have boundaries, but I’m not difficult.”
“Who will love you if you are like this?” → “I deserve to be treated kindly.”
“You’re too emotional.” → “I’ve just been hurt for too long.”
Step 2: Give Your Brain a Chance to Disconnect
Emotional PTSD cannot be solved by "thinking positively".
What you have to do is:Allow the brain to create a “safe alternative path”.
[Breaking the Hook]: When an emotion is triggered, immediately do one of the following 3 actions (choose one):
- Take 3 deep breaths + clench your fists and then slowly release them to remind your body: I am safe now
- Write down a sentence [I am not his definition, I am myself]
- Listen to some gentle and steady music or voice (I can record it for you)
Step 3: Rebuild your sense of sovereignty
You don't need the next relationship.
You need to first find out who I am, who I can control my life, and who I deserve to be treated honestly.
[Daily Sovereignty Quotes] (Choose 1-3 sentences to recite silently every day):
- "I will no longer allow anyone to use love as a tool to control me."
- "I deserve a relationship that doesn't require flattery or exchange."
- "I am not someone's emotional ATM. I am a complete person."
- “I allowed myself to get better slowly, not in a hurry, but firmly.”
Part 4: Healing Reminder Card | You can read it once a day
You are not being pretentious, you have just been manipulated too deeply.
You are not fragile, you just haven't been properly protected for too long.
It's not that you don't deserve to be loved, but that you deserve the kind of love that won't destroy you.
It’s not that you can’t forget him, it’s that you haven’t really found yourself again.
You don't want to become stronger, you want to become more at ease.
Part 5: Emotional PTSD recovery must be slow, don’t rush yourself
You can go slower. You can repeat yourself more. You can cry a little. You can be a little more afraid.
But please promise yourself:
- No more looking back and asking "Does he regret it?"
- No more questioning "Am I not good enough?"
- Stop using old pain as proof that love is still there
- No longer bear the pain that you shouldn't bear alone
