Since the birth of civilization, mankind has been moving forward in the torrent of good and evil. Morality and order seem to build social harmony, but in the depths of human nature, the shadow has never dissipated. Throughout history, wars, fraud, oppression, and betrayal have emerged in an endless stream. These ugly behaviors are not accidental, but the inevitable product of distorted thinking. When power becomes a tool to manipulate people's hearts, when desires are rationalized, and when prejudice is shaped into truth, the dark side of human nature quietly grows and affects the development trajectory of society.
However, is it the environment that shapes these distorted ideas, or is it the cracks in human nature that give rise to them? Have we ever really faced our own complexity and contradictions? When thoughts are imprisoned, people fall into reincarnation. Only by awakening can we break through the fog and see the essence of the world.
The fastest way to escape from distorted thoughts is to start by changing your own thinking
If a person does not get rid of the "self-attachment" and "dharma-attachment", they will always live in hell, because the duality of thought can quickly turn a person's happiness into pain, and turn a person's love into hatred, because you are always thinking about the world with that "I". For example, the mind method in the "Treatise on the Hundred Dharmas":
- Eye consciousness (vision) – Perceive the world through the eyes and form visual experience.
- Ear consciousness (hearing) – Receive sounds through the ears and form auditory cognition.
- Nose (smell) – Sense smells through the nose, which affect emotions and memory.
- Tongue consciousness (taste) – Taste is detected by the tongue and is influenced by personal habits.
- Body consciousness (touch) – Perceive sensations such as hot and cold, soft and hard, pain and itchiness through the skin.
- Consciousness (thinking) – Responsible for the ability to analyze, judge, and understand the world.
- Manas (self-awareness) – Clinging to the “self” leads to discrimination and desire.
- Alaya consciousness (subconscious mind) – Stores memories, experiences and habits, affecting the deep psychology.
The first five kinds of awareness are what our ordinary bodies can quickly perceive, and these changes will quickly affect our thinking and consciousness, leading to different judgments and cognitions. Our minds begin to discriminate, for example: thinking this is good and that is bad, and gradually forming many opposing conflicts. These thoughts continue to grow and consolidate over time, and our self-consciousness begins to form a unique cognition. However, because of the internal conflicts and divisions of this cognition, we think selectively, pursue the maximization of interests, and satisfy our external desires. As a result, we begin to form a fixed thinking pattern and habitually think about problems in a set way.
The shackles of thinking and the karma of the original family: How to awaken true love in despair
People often think that the formation of ideas is a free process, butIn fact, our thinking patterns are often shaped unconsciously.When we habitually think, judge, and act in a certain way, we are actuallyLiving in a fixed framework, and this framework is likely constructed by external education, moral concepts, and even the influence of the original family.
In traditional Chinese culture, Confucianism emphasizesBenevolence, Righteousness, Propriety, Wisdom, and Trustworthiness, these values appear to promote social harmony, but in fact, they are alsoThe shackles that bind people's mindsThe existence of this moral system,Essentially, it is to restrain those who have no love and lack moral sense., to prevent them from causing damage to society. However,Truly kind and loving people are easily bound by this kind of morality, becoming lost, submissive, and lacking in creativity., and even cannot find their true self.
Why?
Because in this world, rules are usually not set up for kind people, but to check and balance those who are careless.Rules bind good people, but bad people can easily ignore them..
Therefore, true awakening must begin with breaking these invisible shackles.
The distortion of society stems from the karma of the original family
Many people think that society shapes distorted thinking. But if you look deeper, you will find thatThe real source of distorted thinking often comes from the original family.
Everyone carries karma from their family.We continue to experience similar traumas in society, fall into the same patterns, get hurt repeatedly, and repeat the same lessons over and over again.
- Did you find thatIs your pain in intimate relationships similar to your childhood experiences?
- Did you find thatAre you afraid of being abandoned and unloved, and have your parents treated you the same way?
- Did you find thatDo your fears, feelings of lack, and distrust of the world all originate from your family?
This is not accidental, but an inherited thought pattern.Wrong ideas will be passed down from generation to generation, creating an endless cycle of suffering.
If you don't wake up,These pains will continue like a family curse and even be passed on to the next generation.
Only awakening can end suffering. Only complete despair can escape from reincarnation.
Two models of original family: Why did you choose pain?
In this world, families of origin can be roughly divided into two types:
1. Loving family
- Such a familyFull of warmth, care and respectA child growing up in such an environment will not feel lacking or afraid, and he will naturally have love.
- but,Precisely because he does not need to experience pain to find love, his room for spiritual growth may be limited.
2. A loveless family
- Parents in various formsIt erodes children's psychology, creating fear, lack and anxiety, which makes him form distorted cognition and unable to truly experience freedom and joy.
- However, if the child can awaken in such an environment, he will be able to learn true love in extreme adversity.
- This kind of pain is an adverse condition - only when a person is forced into a desperate situation can he realize true love.
You may ask:Why do I have to go through this pain?
Why do some people get to live in loving families while I have to endure this torture?
The answer is:The reason you chose such a family is not accidental, but your own karma chose it.
At the soul level, you came to this family because this isThe place where you can best complete your own homework, learn the most wisdom, and achieve the most breakthrough growth.
The reason you are trapped in this pain is becauseYou have the most lessons to learn and the most wisdom to gain..
That's why some people are born into hardship while others have smooth sailing.
This is not the injustice of fate, but everyone has chosen the most suitable growth environment for himself in his own life script.
Original family and distortion of thought
Let me give you an example: the invasion of toxic thoughts from my family of origin. I found myself living an uncomfortable life since I was a child. Although I had a strong sense of self, my father was a person with a strong desire for control and strict requirements on me. Maybe my father had good intentions, but his excessive control made me have a vague understanding of "love". When I grew up, I mistakenly believed that true love meant being controlled, so I became addicted to toxic intimate relationships because I was taught from a young age that such relationships represent care.
However, this model of love is inherently problematic. I have never seen the beauty of true love, nor can I understand how true love is created. I can only rely on my own imaginary "love" to build an intimate relationship, which leads to inner conflicts and divisions, so serious that I cannot sleep peacefully and am always anxious and worried. Facing my father's indifference, my body is stiff, my heart is trembling, and my breathing is rapid. I believe that everyone has their own family of origin troubles, and what I want to tell you is:
These toxic love patterns should not continue to be learned and perpetuated.
This toxic pattern of consciousness has long been deeply rooted in our hearts and has become a latent behavioral pattern. Whenever we encounter similar emotional experiences, it will trigger fear and pain. We tend to indulge in it, constantly repeating the fate of the victims, and unable to break free from the shackles of thinking.
How do you get out of this distorted mindset?
We need to root out this unconscious way of thinking. Although it is easier said than done, it is very difficult. After all, these distorted thoughts are not formed overnight, but may be the result of karma from many lifetimes. Perhaps we came to this world just to correct these wrong perceptions.
First, we needObserve your emotions, pay attention to what things will affect your emotions and make you lose control. Don't avoid the existence of this emotion, but bravely enter the core of fear and anxiety to discover it, observe it, and feel it.
Step out of the roles of victim and perpetrator, understand that these painful experiences are nothing more than a reflection of the incomplete reality of the soul. Through these experiences, we can see our own shortcomings, thus jumping out of the trap of thinking, getting rid of the inner division and conflict, and finding our true core.
When we quietly watch our hearts, stop chattering, stop sending out meaningless thoughts, and stop looking out for those illusory bubbles, we will find that time seems to have disappeared. The troubles of the past no longer bother us, and the worries of the future no longer erode us. We can finally feel the tranquility of the present, cherish everything we have, and feel real satisfaction and joy.
Buddha taught me how to be joyful!
True joy does not come from external material things, but rather comes from a deep observation of life, a state of awareness that transcends worldly troubles.
What Buddha taught me is a complete observation of everything in life. This is not just a kind of meditation, but also aStay in the present momentThe fastest way to clean your hands. Imagine that when you wash your hands, if you really feel it with your heart, you will notice the temperature of the water, the touch of your fingers, the cleaning process, the feeling of the water sliding over your skin, and even the fragrance of the hand sanitizer. When you eat a piece of orange, have you carefully experienced its sweetness and sourness, the touch of the flesh in your mouth, and its fragrance?
Such awareness can bring us back to the present and let us discover that the tiny moments in life actually contain countless surprises and beauty.
Comprehensive observation is the beginning of creativity
When we practice this comprehensive observation of life, our hearts will no longer be controlled by thoughts, no longer dwelling on the regrets of the past, and no longer clinging to the worries of the future. We will find that our hearts have become morebroad, no longer bound by experience and memory, no longer filled with goals and desires, but completely and directionally aware of all existence.
This kind of calm awareness of everything around you creates a lot of space in your heart. You are no longer controlled by thoughts, no longer bound by past memories and experiences, and no longer filled with a certain goal or ideal. At this time, you will begin to be aware and observe with all your heart.No sense of directionYour egocentrism disappears, leaving only your focused attention, your wholehearted listening, and your complete tranquility. When you start your journey of full perception, your unconscious dualistic thinking disappears, and the sense of distinction between the observer and the observed dissolves.
When you begin to observe with all your heart, your self-centeredness disappears.
- You no longer cling to who "I" am.
- You are no longer in a rush to label yourself.
- You are no longer entangled in the "past" and the "future".
- You are no longer trapped by habitual binary thinking.
In this state,You will experience true listening and complete tranquility, you begin to perceive everything, rather than being bound by thoughts. The boundary between the observer and the observed dissolves, and you enter a state of transcendence.
Creativity itself is not necessarily good.The real good comes from the creativity of loveIf creation lacks love, it may bring destruction instead of construction. We cannot simply attribute all creativity to goodness, because the existence of all things in the world is causal.Things can be divided into right and wrong, which is different from the binary way of thinking and should not be confused with it.
Imagine if a personRandomly destroy plants, litter, and wantonly destroy nature, such behavior is obviously bad. Why? Because his heart is full of conflict and division, he cannot settle himself, so he can only project his inner dissatisfaction to the outside world and vent his anger on inanimate objects.Harming others without benefiting oneselfIf he is thinking about something, then this behavior is also bad. His world revolves aroundThe needs of the selfGoing around in circles, always driven by greed and desire, always feeling lacking in the heart, and never experiencing true love.
So,What is true love?
True love isNo selfLove is not just love for individuals, families, or friends, but also love for the whole world.Love for the entire universe and all living thingsThis kind of love makes people no longer cling to the boundaries of "self", but become one with the universe. In such love,Non-killing becomes the law of nature, because life is worthy of awe and all living things are worthy of compassion. Destructive behaviors caused by greed, anger or fear are contrary to true love because they will bring more harm and pain.
A person who has a compassionate heart and understands sympathy for all living beings will always do the right thing no matter what he does.
This is perfectly reflected in the story of the Buddha.
The Buddha's Choice in His Previous Life: Killing and Stealing with Compassion
Long ago, the Buddha was reborn as a wise captain, leading 500 merchants on an ocean voyage. With the wisdom of meditation, he foresaw that there was a thief on the ship.Intends to slaughter all merchants at night and take all their property.
He was caught in a great contradiction:
- If the thief is not stopped, these five hundred innocent lives will die in vain, and the thief himself will fall into hell because of his serious sins and suffer endless pain.
- If you kill a thief with your own hands, you will bear the cause and effect of killing and may even fall into the evil path.
At this critical moment, the captainI did not evade responsibility because of fear of cause and effect., but made the decision with true compassion:He killed the thief himselfThis was not done out of hatred, but out of compassion for the five hundred merchants, and also to prevent the thieves from committing greater crimes.This is not ordinary killing, but an act of selfless compassion.
Is killing necessarily evil?
From a secular perspective, killing is evil, but from a higher level of wisdom,True good and evil do not depend on superficial behavior, but on the motivation behind the behavior and the final consequences.This action of the Buddha did not create any bad karma, but instead became an important good deed on his path of practice.
This reflects the BuddhistFight evil with evil, stop big evil with small evil" Sometimes, in order to protect the greater good, it is necessary to use "extraordinary methods" to stop evil deeds. This is what Mahayana Buddhism says "Convenient and skillful”: In some special cases, for the greater good,A compassionate person can take seemingly unconventional measures, but its essence remains compassionate.
The Buddha was able to ultimately achieve enlightenment because he truly understood the balance between love and wisdom.
Lesson from the story
This story tells us:
- True good deeds are not just about mechanically following the precepts, but also about considering the final consequences of one's actions.
- Good and evil should not be judged solely on the surface; what determines cause and effect is the motivation and influence behind the behavior.
- Those with great compassion will not be bound by worldly views of good and evil, but will use true wisdom to benefit all living beings and are willing to sacrifice themselves even if it means enduring pain.
Therefore, true love transcends the self, is willing to sacrifice oneself for all living beings, and is free from greed, anger, and ignorance. If creativity does not have love as its foundation, it may bring destruction and pain. Only creation born out of love is a true good deed.
May each of us practice this wisdom of great compassion in our lives, so that all creations can become blessings to the world rather than destruction.
How can we protect our own purity and goodness in a distorted society?
In this world, can good people really survive? This is a question worth pondering. In reality, we often see good people being misunderstood, exploited, and even ruthlessly crushed by this distorted society. But if the Buddha could not maintain inner peace in the midst of the clamor of public opinion, could he still achieve the supreme enlightenment?Kindness does not mean weakness. True kindness is compassion with wisdom.
We must be clear about one thing:Not everyone in this world deserves love.
Kindness must have levels, love must have wisdom
If a person gives his love unconditionally to everyone, he will inevitably be hurt. Why? Because the vast majority of people in this society grow up with unconscious distorted thinking, and their humanity is full of conflicts and divisions.People without love often have no conscience.
Can you demand morality, recognition, fairness and justice from a person without conscience?
No way. They don't have those qualities at all, and they don't even understand your kindness.If you insist on asking for things from these people, you will only become depressed, miserable, and even fall into darkness.
So, what is the right approach?
You must learnDeal with different people at different levels, and use wisdom to distinguish who is "interested" and who is "uninterested".
How to recognize human nature and protect one’s own ultimate goodness and beauty?
Many people rely on psychology to judge personality types, but those theories are often superficial and even misleading. To truly understand a person,You can’t just rely on your words, identity, education, or appearance, but you must also conduct a “heart test”——Observe his heart to see if he is truly kind and whether he is a "careless" person.
External appearances often obscure the truth
People often mistakenly believe that:
- Weak = Good = Needs protection
- Strong = evil = will rob others
But in fact,Strong or weak has nothing to do with good or evil.
- Some people who seem "weak" are actually full of calculations and malice;
- And some people who seem to be “strong”, although tough on the outside, are willing to help others selflessly.
True goodness and evil do not depend on external performance, but on whether one has true innerLove and Wisdom.
The fundamental difference between a caring person and an uncaring person
The biggest difference is——Do you have an “other’s perspective”?:
- Careless They only live in their own world. Their world only has "I". Their focus is always on their own grievances, their own pain, and their own unwillingness. Even if they "love" you, theyStill love yourself the most.
- Careful people Be able to truly think from the perspective of others, have empathy, understand the pain of others, be willing to adjust your own behavior, and even be willing to break through yourself for love.
**Especially those who have "bodhicitta", they are not only caring people, but also able to think about problems from the perspective of all living beings. **Talking with them, you will feel a strong resonance, because their thinking mode is not narrow-minded and self-centered, but an all-embracing wisdom.
How to distinguish between “interested people” and “unintentional people” in practice?
In real life, how do you judge whether a person is truly kind? The following is the most direct and effective test method:
1. See if he really has a “breakthrough”
When you tell someone that your behavior makes you feel hurt or uncomfortable, see if he is willing to make some adjustments in his behavior.
- Careful people He will reflect on himself and be willing to make practical changes. Even if he has not realized his problems before, he will try his best to improve.
- Careless They only comfort you verbally, but their actions remain the same. They are good at comforting you with words, but their actions betray you again and again.
To judge a person's kindness, don't listen to what he says, but look at what he does.
2. Look at his actions, not his words
Behavior is the truest reflection of a person.
- A truly kind motherEven if she has hurt the child due to "ignorance" (lack of wisdom), when the child sincerely expresses his inner pain to her, she will definitely reflect on her behavior and be willing to change, because she really loves the child, and her love is wise.
- But if it is a careless person, even if you tell him your pain, he will comfort you, but he will not change. His "love" only stays in words, but will not be implemented in actions.
True kindness is the compassion of wisdom
Being kind does not mean giving without any limit.
Wise kindness is a discerning choice and a compassion based on a deep understanding of the world.
In this world, some people deserve your kindness, and some do not. You must be wise to distinguish, otherwise you will eventually beNo one to loveDrag it into the dark abyss and even destroy your purest heart.
so,You must understand that true kindness is not about catering to everyone, but about loving, creating, and protecting your own light with wisdom.
How to live correctly in this world?
- Clarify the “right and wrong” theory——You should have your own discernment and not just follow what others say.
- Your kindness must have levels——You can't treat everyone equally, otherwise you will get hurt.
- Learn to distinguish between those who are attentive and those who are not——Love can be given, but it must be given to the right person.
When kind people possess true wisdom, not only will you not be swallowed up by this society, but you will have greater power to influence and change the world.
May each of us practice this compassion and wisdom in our lives.Not only should we be a kind person, but we should also be a caring person, someone who can truly benefit all living beings.
Protect your light and become a truly wise and kind person
The world is not always kind, and kind people often have to face the use, misunderstanding, and even harm of unintentional people. But this does not mean that we should abandon kindness, but make kindnessWisdom, hierarchy, and discernment.
True kindness is not weak pandering, but firm compassion.
When you learn to distinguish human nature and see who is kind and who is careless, you will not be easily swallowed by the dark side of human nature. Your kindness will not become a tool for others to trample on, but a light that illuminates yourself and others. You will no longer demand recognition, justice and morality from those without conscience, but will leave your love and warmth to those who deserve it.
True wisdom is not indifference, but compassionate clarity; true kindness is not blindness, but giving in layers.
Therefore, please protect your light, cherish your love, and let kindness grow under the protection of wisdom. In this way, you can not only survive in this world, but also live soberly, live freely, and truly have inner peace and joy.
May you become a person who has both a kind heart and wise vision; may you no longer get lost on the path of kindness, but become clearer and stronger.
Ending: The power of awakening - how to break the shackles of distortion and move towards true freedom
Dear readers, have you ever felt lost? Have you ever found yourself being dragged by some invisible force into pain and confusion? Have you ever questioned your emotions, behavior, or even why your entire life is always trapped in repeated dilemmas?
In fact, the root of many of our pains is not the outside world, but the fact that we are bound by distorted thought patterns. Social rules, the karma of our original families, the influence of our growing environment... these factors together shape our thinking framework, making us live as "the set self" without realizing it, and even the painful patterns are like a script that is written, played out over and over again.
But please believe that the power of awakening is always in your own hands. You can choose:
- Start observing yourself——When you feel pain, don't rush to escape, but try to analyze it deeply, where does it come from? Is it just a repetition of your unconscious thinking pattern for a long time?
- Learn to distinguish between people and things——Not all people are worthy of your kindness, and not all rules are worthy of compliance. Your love must be wise, and your kindness must be sharp, in order to truly protect your purity.
- Breaking down binary thinking——The world is not just black and white, and good and evil are not absolute. True wisdom lies in seeing the essence of things rather than being misled by appearances.
- Live in the present and find true freedom——Have you ever carefully felt the falling of a leaf? Have you ever devoted yourself to every breath? When you start to pay attention to the present moment, you will find that true joy does not come from the outside world, but from your own awareness.
You don't need to continue living in a distorted shackle, nor do you need to repeat the pain of family karma. True freedom is not given to you by the outside world, but the light that naturally emanates from you after you awaken from within. Are you willing to start this awakening journey? Are you willing to use a clearer eye to see through all appearances and find your own wisdom and love?
If your answer is **"yes"**, then congratulations, you have taken the most important step. Awakening does not mean getting rid of all the pain immediately, but it means that you finally begin to truly see yourself, understand yourself, and bravely embark on your own path. This path may not be easy, but it will lead you to true freedom and tranquility.
May you move forward with wisdom and love, and in this complex world, not be swallowed by the darkness, but become your own light.
